Last night, Ed and I did something that we don't normally do: we went to the movies. While this doesn't sound all that unusual, it is actually highly unusual considering I am not a movie buff and do not enjoy sitting through movies. Yet, ever since our movie theater installed stadium seating, I have found that I am more readily able to "tune out" others talking, eating, crinkling paper, etc. So, in the past two months, we have gone to the movies twice. That's two times more than we have gone in the past 2 years!
As I was watching the movie, an incident occurred that brought a BIG smile to my face and caused me to lose focus on the movie (though not terribly difficult for me to do). I was sitting with my feet up on the seat in front of me (all part of my ploy to keep other patrons at bay) when, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a flashlight. I looked to my left and it was the movie theater employee who walks down one aisle, in front of the screen and then back up the other aisle. The minute I saw his flashlight, I sat up, instinctively took my feet down and held my breath as I waited for him to continue walking past me. And when the coast was clear, I put my feet back up and laughed to myself.
But, growing up in the Bronx, going to the movies and dealing with the "movie matrons" was no laughing matter. For anyone who did not grow up in the Bronx, the notion of a "movie matron" might be a foreign concept; it was to Ed.
Movie matrons were women who were employed by movie theaters and they had one common goal: to make all kids' movie experiences as terrifying and uncomfortable as possible. Apparently, there were 3 qualifications to be a movie matron:
- Must be a minimum of 85 years old
- Must be a minimum of 40 pounds overweight
- Must have an instinctual hatred for all people under the age of 12
If you were "lucky" enough to meet this criterion, then you were given a stark white uniform (think old fashioned nurse's uniform), a blinding flashlight and instructions to patrol each and every aisle of the theater. Your mission was to find those persons under the age of 12 who were violating one of the many theater rules.
Of the many theater rules, the movie matrons were notorious for finding the "feet on the seat" offenders. If the movie matron happened to sneak up on you and saw you with your feet on the seat in front of you, she would immediately shine the blinding flashlight in your eye, then direct it towards your feet and then instill the fear of God in you until you took your feet down.
Usually, during a movie outgoing, there was one friend who was on "matron patrol". It was not uncommon to hear your friend murmur "matron coming" at which point everyone sat upright, feet flat on the floor and attention completely focused on the movie. When the light from the matron's flashlight disappeared, our feet returned to the top of the seat in front of us and we carried on with our antics.
Hoping to find an old photo of a Bronx movie matron, I did many Google searches, but was unsuccessful. However, I did find these quotes that also made me laugh:
"The matron at the Luxor must've been about 110 years old and hated kids"
"I remember those matrons (those scary ladies in white dresses) monitoring the kids on Saturday afternoons"
"..and the "matron" (that kind of movie theater always had a sort of headmistress ) - a very stern woman in a white dress - who stood guard so to speak, keeping kids in line and maintaining order..."
While it makes me laugh now to think about the movie matrons, they obviously left a long-lasting impression on me (and others). And for the lack of anything better, I can always blame my dislike for movie theaters on the mean-spirited matrons....lol
As I was watching the movie, an incident occurred that brought a BIG smile to my face and caused me to lose focus on the movie (though not terribly difficult for me to do). I was sitting with my feet up on the seat in front of me (all part of my ploy to keep other patrons at bay) when, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a flashlight. I looked to my left and it was the movie theater employee who walks down one aisle, in front of the screen and then back up the other aisle. The minute I saw his flashlight, I sat up, instinctively took my feet down and held my breath as I waited for him to continue walking past me. And when the coast was clear, I put my feet back up and laughed to myself.
But, growing up in the Bronx, going to the movies and dealing with the "movie matrons" was no laughing matter. For anyone who did not grow up in the Bronx, the notion of a "movie matron" might be a foreign concept; it was to Ed.
Movie matrons were women who were employed by movie theaters and they had one common goal: to make all kids' movie experiences as terrifying and uncomfortable as possible. Apparently, there were 3 qualifications to be a movie matron:
- Must be a minimum of 85 years old
- Must be a minimum of 40 pounds overweight
- Must have an instinctual hatred for all people under the age of 12
If you were "lucky" enough to meet this criterion, then you were given a stark white uniform (think old fashioned nurse's uniform), a blinding flashlight and instructions to patrol each and every aisle of the theater. Your mission was to find those persons under the age of 12 who were violating one of the many theater rules.
Of the many theater rules, the movie matrons were notorious for finding the "feet on the seat" offenders. If the movie matron happened to sneak up on you and saw you with your feet on the seat in front of you, she would immediately shine the blinding flashlight in your eye, then direct it towards your feet and then instill the fear of God in you until you took your feet down.
Usually, during a movie outgoing, there was one friend who was on "matron patrol". It was not uncommon to hear your friend murmur "matron coming" at which point everyone sat upright, feet flat on the floor and attention completely focused on the movie. When the light from the matron's flashlight disappeared, our feet returned to the top of the seat in front of us and we carried on with our antics.
Hoping to find an old photo of a Bronx movie matron, I did many Google searches, but was unsuccessful. However, I did find these quotes that also made me laugh:
"The matron at the Luxor must've been about 110 years old and hated kids"
"I remember those matrons (those scary ladies in white dresses) monitoring the kids on Saturday afternoons"
"..and the "matron" (that kind of movie theater always had a sort of headmistress ) - a very stern woman in a white dress - who stood guard so to speak, keeping kids in line and maintaining order..."
While it makes me laugh now to think about the movie matrons, they obviously left a long-lasting impression on me (and others). And for the lack of anything better, I can always blame my dislike for movie theaters on the mean-spirited matrons....lol
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