Humor of the Day: Penguin Pacer

I seem to have hit a real dry spell in my Humor of the Day posts. Since the "Night of the Living Dead," there seems to have been little to nothing that has made me noticeably smile or laugh. But, because I have "allowed" myself to rely on past events, I am able to make this post.

A week or two ago, my neighbor Laura offered me a part time job. I, the slowest of the slow of Penguins, have been offered a job as "a pacer." That job offer made me laugh. A lot.

For those unfamiliar to the world of running and/or racing, a pacer is someone who sets the pace of a race for the other runners. Serious runners use pacers in races; not-so-serious runners use pacers to train and "penguins" call upon other penguins as pacers when all else fails.

Because Laura is currently training for a 10k and because I run ever-so-slightly faster than her, she has offered for me to be her pacer. She even went so far as to offer to "pay" me to run a 5k race with her. This, according to Laura, will be the key to her setting a personal record.

Although visions of dollar signs flashed before my eyes, she then proceeded to explain that she would pay my race entry fee; however, I would not be paid on an hourly basis to prod her along as we run.

Despite the salary restrictions, I seem to have accepted the offer and am now proud to be among the elite few who can call themselves "pacers."

As I waddle ever so slowly ahead of Laura on the rail trial, I am continually assessing our pace and pondering if I am running too fast (doubtful), too slow (probably) or just right (hopefully).

My success as a pacer currently remains unknown. However, if Laura does ultimately set a personal record in the next 5k that we run, I foresee myself engaging in some serious salary negotiations with her ....lol